I’m struggling lately with comparison. I know pregnancy brings out some of the less thoughtful comments from well-meaning people but sometimes those comments weigh heavy on my heart when combined with my own self comparison. I haven’t wanted to take or share any pregnancy photos because I’ve let comments and my own insecurities about how much I’m showing steal my joy. When I step back and look at the situation I know there is nothing for me to be upset about – we all have different genes, body types, shapes, sizes – so why does it matter if I’m showing more than someone thinks I should be showing or if I’m showing more than other people due 6 weeks before me? It’s tough enough changing my mind set from shuddering at an extra five pounds to being okay with gaining significant weight and all of the other changes happening to my body, complements of pregnancy hormones that also make me more sensitive than usual.
At a women’s retreat last March one of the speakers mentioned comparison and how it hinders our friendships and relationships. If I’m trying to be perfect in an imperfect world my heart is in the wrong place and I’m striving for something completely unattainable. I do my best to own my imperfections (don’t ask me for my chocolate cobbler recipe unless you want a soupy, flour-less mess) but I need to stop comparing myself to others when it comes to pregnancy…and I need to learn to let go of the comments from others (with good intentions) telling me that I’m showing more than x, y, z, who is due before me. Outside of pregnancy no one would comment on my size compared to anyone else. Women commonly struggle with self acceptance when it comes to weight and size and being pregnant multiplies those insecurities exponentially, for me at least – although it is the one time in life you are supposed to gain weight and be happy about it. So here’s a goal for 2012 – no comparing in any way, thicker skin, acceptance. True beauty and true joy come from God and not from anything I’m doing on the outside. We are all beautiful and should be joyful because of who created us!